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Do I Have To Know My Purpose/Passion To Heal?

“Do I need to know my purpose/passion to heal?” is one of the questions that comes up

from time to time in coaching and group classes. It’s often very emotionally charged for

the person posing the question because they have been told that they must discover their purpose/passion in life to heal. They commonly have spent weeks pondering what their purpose is, followed by weeks ruminating about it because they don’t know, which eventually leads to them getting more and more triggered by the whole thing.



In my experience, the short answer to this question is, no. I did not know what my purpose/passion was when I was rewiring my brain and nervous system. I just wanted to not feel like hot garbage all day, every day. Granted, I could have done a little better with that. It’s helpful to move towards something instead of trying to get away from the symptoms, but that something could be “I want to feel good in my body, so I can enjoy life.”


I have also worked with countless clients over the past six years who are now well and living full, happy lives. We didn’t discuss their purpose/passion as a key ingredient to their healing. Certainly, we talked about what they were moving towards and looking forward to, but it wasn’t with the very big ask/expectation of figuring out their life’s purpose. There are so many healthy, happy, successful people on this planet that would be hard pressed to answer that question too.


Life gets turned so upside down when the limbic system is impaired and the nervous system is dysregulated, that it can be hard to have any idea about what we’re drawn to and what is possible. I often joke that posing the question about passion/purpose when the brain and nervous system are in survival mode, is similar to asking someone that is running from a tiger to share what their hopes and dreams are. Not really a fair question at that point and time.



If the question helps to shift your attention off of the tiger and on to moving forward and getting back to living life, then fantastic. But all too often I see the question further reinforce rumination, looping thought patterns and fear that recovery isn't possible because you're not "doing it right" or checking all the boxes on someone else's recovery list.


By all means, if you do know what your

purpose/passion is, wonderful!

Please move towards it and have it be a source of inspiration and motivation to use your tools and rewire. But if you don’t, that’s okay. You are not alone, many people don’t know what their purpose/passion is and still recover. I find that as clients heal and step into greater regulation, life and opportunities start to open up. Instead of trying to force it, maybe trust that good things are coming and you don’t need to have it all figured out just yet.


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277 views9 comments

9 Comments


Guest
Jan 26

Great Post, thank you!


Thank you for your blog posts Connie, just like your group coaching sessions. There is always something helpful to receive by being in the space you create.


Dawny

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Replying to

Thank you, Dawny! ❤️

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Guest
Jan 11

Connie:

Thank you for this post. This is a huge relief reading this and not looping over this is another POP that can and will drop off.

Linda Stacey 🤗

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Replying to

You are so welcome, Linda. 💜

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Guest
Jan 02

This post is so serendipitous for me right now. I've been rewiring a long time and have often put a lot of pressure on myself to figure this out. Having been removed from the world of work, I know I very much miss being able to contribute. That said, I also realize that the question just feels so vast and hasn't really served me as a focal point. I truly appreciate when you note, "There are so many healthy, happy, successful people on this planet that would be hard pressed to answer that question too," and "I find that as clients heal and step into greater regulation, life and opportunities start to open up." That just lands so much softer…

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Replying to

You are so welcome! Three cheers for it landing softer inside and feeling more supportive.

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Guest
Jan 02

I have had this it exact question and worry for a few years and nobody to talk to about it. Thank you so much for this reassuring post!!

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Replying to

You are so welcome! I'm glad it was helpful.

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Guest
Jan 01

Ah - this was good to read today. Thanks Connie. Good things are coming - I think I'll put that on a post it note to remember as I end a round... I am so lost right now as to future direction.

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